WEDNESDAY WORDS: PACKED FOR THE JOURNEY

“Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. Freely you have received, freely give” (Matthew 10:8).

My husband was barricaded in his hospital room, threatening doctors and nurses with his IV pole.

 “You’re here!” he shouted when he saw me. “I knew you would come. I told you, Diana.” He turned to the nurse that was behind him, the only medical personnel he allowed into the room. “You won’t let them steal my brain, will you?”

“No,” I said. “No one will steal your brain.”

Diana smiled weakly. “Thanks for coming so quickly.”

I shrugged. “Thanks for calling. It’s not every day I have to come save my husband from space aliens. It’s a new adventure.”

In the years since Ron became disabled and I took on the role of the Well Spouse, I have often felt I had not really packed for the journey. The words “In sickness and in health” don’t really prepare you for the possibilities of what CAN happen.

I often wonder how the apostles of Jesus felt. The Book of Matthew relates the Great Commission which sent them out into the world. They were told not to burden themselves with luggage: no extra sandals or cloaks, no satchels, no money. They were to depend upon God for their provisions. And they were to freely give to others what had been given to them. They were not trained physicians, but they were to “heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons “ (Matthew 10:8). Surely, they must have wondered how they—mere mortal men—would be able to accomplish these things!

It's a question I’ve asked myself many times in my journey as the Well Spouse. I have felt as unprepared as the Apostles as they set out on their missions, untrained in medicine of the mind and body. There were many times I sat alone in a hospital waiting room, just me and God waiting to hear if Ron would live or die.

But Ron, my husband of 42 years, is beloved of Jesus. He is worth far more than many sparrows (Matthew 10:31). Even when fear enveloped me, I knew the words of John 3:16 to be true: If Ron should die, he would be with our Father in Heaven.

The twelve Jesus sent out into the world on the first mission journeys were ordinary men. Four were fishermen. None were from the professional religious of the day. Yet they spread the Gospel throughout the known world and, even though it was illegal to become a Christian, many accepted Jesus as Savior. While the apostles may have felt inadequate to the task, God gave them the power and the courage they needed.

The journey of a Well Spouse also takes a lot of courage.

After the effects of the anesthesia from the previous day’s surgery wore off, Ron was peaceful, nodding off to sleep in his hospital bed. No more space aliens threatened his existence. His brain was safe for now. I sat next to his hospital bed, calmly knitting a prayer shawl for a friend when Dr. Inger quietly entered the room and checked Ron’s vitals.

“He’s doing okay,” the doctor said. “How about you?”

I gave a shrug. “Just another day. I’m used to it all.”

He nodded. “You’ve been married, what, 25 years?”

“Thirty.”

“Hmmm.” He took a chair from the corner and straddled it. “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”

I shook my head. “Go ahead.”

“How do you do it? How do you stay with him? Why don’t you just walk away?”

And so I told the good doctor that my vows had been honest ones. The road had been long and hard, but that did not mean giving up. Whenever I felt inadequate for the journey, whenever I felt as if I had packed the wrong things and just did not have what it would take to move one step further, God gave me what I needed.

“I think,” said Dr. Inger, “I need to study this some more. You’re a strong woman.”

I shook my head. “No,” I said. “I serve a strong God.”

The journey is far from over. This event happened years ago, and since then God has brought us to more surgeries and more hospitals and more people who need to hear the Gospel. My “go” bag for hospital emergencies now includes a knitting project, my Bible, a notebook, and several Bible tracts.

I pack light. God supplies the rest.